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Transforming Opposition

“When you get lemons, make lemonade”. That’s a good idea, a helpful first place to stop and think when we feel things aren’t working out for us. It is often quoted in the forging-forward-everything-is-how-your-thinking-makes-it schools of positive psychology and an awful lot of coaching.

And there’s real truth in it. Enough to make it seem to its fundamentalist followers like THE answer to adversity. And there’s the problem because it’s only half the story. The other half is that some situations can be so fraught with trouble and hateful people that we can’t navigate and survive them without help.

In those situations, convincing yourself that if you can only change how you think, everything will be okay can be deadly.

Firstly, if we see hateful people for what they are but do not react to them, we take away much of their power. Secondly, if we move carefully and slowly to find a way out of the situation, we can eventually get out, and our confidence will return.

Some bad situations are only transformed by clearly recognizing how bad they are, planning to leave them, and seeking out allies who can help. We are meant to help each other. It’s in our biological instruction pack.